Francisco speaks.

This morning, a Spanish newspaper ("El Pais") wrote a story on blogs in Beirut (Reading While Falling was featured).

http://www.elpais.es/articulo/internet/Beirut/centro/atencion/Red/elpportec/20060718elpepunet_4/Tes/
We'll get to that later. First, the news of the hour:

There she is, my beautiful 'Orient Queen'. She came into port last night. At first, when I heard the horns blowing as the ship docked I thought it was an air raid siren. Talal laughed at me.

Again, I'm right by the port. I can SEE this boat out my window, sitting there taunting me. I've not yet received an email from the DoS (I call it the "DontS" when I'm angry) but this morning, the American simply packed his bags and went for a walk to the port. Upon his return some thirty minutes later (we laughed when he got back, Talal asking him if he had changed his mind?), he claimed that he got through the first level of security (Lebanese military gaurding the port) and then made a b-line for a boat. American Special Forces made him then register at a tent set up on the dock by the cruiseline. To hear him tell it, it was just heartbreaking - they gave him a key to a room and everything, checked him in, a CBS news person begged him to take a camera and role footage of the trip and give it to another CBS person on the other side...it was all so close. But Special Forces stepped in again to do one last check before he jumped on the boat - he wasn't on "the list". "Sir, there are a number of reasons we cannot let you on this boat." "What are the reasons?" he asked. "Yes," one of the Lebanese military standing gaurd chimed in, "he's an American - let him go, just let him go on board."

"Sir, there are a number of reasons why we cannot let you on this ship."

And that was that.

But there is some good news. First, the American got an email upon his return to the hostel. It reads like this:

The Department of State and U.S. Embassy in Beirut received yourresponse toour email regarding assistance to Americans wanting to depart LebanonforCyprus with onward travel to the United States.Screening for departure will take place the morning of Thursday, July20 .

To facilitate the screening process we are staging it in two-hourshifts.Please e-mail us at: askocs@state.gov to confirm which of the timeslistedbelow you wish to be scheduled for.You and your family should be at the (7 a.m., 9 a.m., 11 a.m.) screeninglocal Beirut time.Screening for additional departure will take place in the afternoon ofThursday, July 20 . To facilitate the screening process, we are stagingitin two hour shifts. You and your family should be at the (1 pm, 3 pm)screening.You should come prepared to wait, and bring adequate water and food tosustain you and your family.

You should report to the Dbayeh Bridge in Beirut, specifically theMobileForces Barracks (Marina Khoury) facing the water station pump nearDbayehPort.What to Bring:What to bring:(1) Passport or green card (as appropriate), money, credit cards, anyotheressential documents. Lebanese nationals should also bring theirLebanesenational ID, especially if they have acquired a new US passport duringthisstay in the country. (They will need to show their Lebanese ID to theLebanese immigration authorities in order to obtain an exit stamp intheirpassport.)(2) Each person should bring only one small carry-on, maximum weight 15kg.In that bag, they should bring a change of clothes for 2-3 days,essentialmedication, glasses/contact lenses, toiletries, water, snack food. Ifbringing children, it is advisable to bring along one toy for eachchild,diapers and formula as appropriate, etc.

What to Expect:(1) The initial screening will involve verification of your Americancitizenship and eligibility for travel.(2) To ensure your security and that of other travelers, a securityscreening will also be conducted.(3) Once these steps are completed, you will be taken by bus to theport.You will go through Lebanese immigration procedures at the port, beforeboarding the ship.Arrival in Cyprus and Onward Travel:(1) You will be met by U.S. consular officers in Cyprus who will assistyouin moving to staging sites for preparation for onward travel to the U.S.(2) We are arranging charter flights to take travelers to the U.S.(3) Once in the U.S., you will be able to make onward arrangements toreturnto your home.

I didn't get any such email, but I'll be there tomorrow morning. Too, as of last night they've decided that we won't have to pay for our own evacuation. Here's a transcript from last night's Larry King Live where Sen Stabenow (D-Michigan) announces the news:

http://edition.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0607/18/lkl.01.html

Key Excerpt:

KING: Let's see the thoughts as we go to Washington. Senator Debbie Stabenow, Democrat of Michigan and Congressman John Dingell the veteran Representative from the state of Michigan. Senator Stabenow, do you offer any hope to Sandra?

SEN. DEBBIE STABENOW (D), MICHIGAN: Well, yes. In fact, just a few minutes ago we finally got the State Department to say, first of all, they're not going to charge people to evacuate them, which was just a horrendous policy that they were talking about doing. People who are trapped. Thank goodness people are not trapped and can leave Israel. But in Lebanon we have 25,000 people from America. Over 5,000 family members from Michigan who are literally trapped. I have been spending time on the phone and my staff has with hundreds of people, trying to help children who have gone to visit grandpa and grandma, folks who have gone back for weddings and so on. And so finally, we're hearing that there are going to be, after six days of waiting, that ships are finally going to arrive. But I have to say, Larry, that this reminds me of watching the pictures of people sitting on rooftops in New Orleans that should have been evacuated much more quickly than they were. Six days is way too long. People are afraid and have every right to be. People at home are worried about their families. And it's been at least six days, and it may be much, much longer before people are able to get home.

(End Excerpt). I'm still trying to figure out who "they" is. Exactly.

So, I took my laundry down from the clothesline and started packing my bags for tomorrow. I...I thought this would be an exciting exercise - like, that I'd be incredibly happy to see this day come. Honestly, though, I just wanted to punch someone. I realized then that the frustration I had been feeling for the past few days was not the result of boredom - simply, I hate war. More than that, I hate the feeling of powerlessness that comes from hearing jets overhead threaten innocents and then hearing ...God...just hearing Bush...why? The world is waiting - please, just step in and stop it. You can do it - you, sir, are the only one. Why?

I came to the middle east to do a conference on conflict mediation. I cut class A LOT, frustrated that I couldn't get my hands dirty. I wanted to get on the ground. Wish answered.

But seeing "it" now on the ground, I'm reminded why I'm attracted to work over tourism - the simple feeling of making some progress. Here, floating through the streets, the size and complications of the conflict are mind numbing. I tried in vain to get some element of truth out to the people back home (see previous posts) and hope that this stupid blog helped some of you understand this experience a bit.

But the pictures, the snippets of dialogue, the little stories cannot - could never - convey the overwhelming fear I have now at the advent of something far more treacherous than even an Israeli bomb: acceptance.

There was that fateful moment yesterday when, sitting in Talal's lobby we found ourselves flipping through the channels and settling on watching a re-run of The Highlander rather keeping glued to Al-Jazeera. This odd malaise seems to have taken over the city, like war is just here and the city and it's people have let their eyes glaze over as a means of getting through it. It is acceptance manifesting itself - and it's terrifying. In Hamra, the cafes still blare the news creating this odd din as you walk around the city but fewer and fewer people are actually watching the screen. It's ...it's just happening now. It's life for however long. And it's crushing me.

So there is this sophomoric allure to staying, to just staying put and trying in some way to at least be a part of the relief effort (yesterday, I joined a student group at AUB that takes donations and then delivers them to refugees - so far, they haven't called...and I've been waiting...waiting just to do something good - for the love of God, something.) I feel completely useless - all I want to be is President of the United States. Seriously, just give me twenty four hours. PLEASE.

Talal offered to drive me over to Hamra where there's still a 24 hour net cafe up and running. I asked him as we drove, "What are you going to do now?"

Talal: "We will drive, we will drive across the city."

Me: "No, I mean what will you do? For the next couple weeks or however long?"

Talal: "(Shrug) Strange things are happening. Very strange." He turned up the radio.

You can see people starting to just...spin it. Just push it in circles as a way of dealing with it:

Cabbie from last night: "Things are bad in Lebanon. You know, but you need to...there is a saying that some wars can solve some problems. I think every 20 years, we need war to change things. Ideas come, they go. Ideas are like the fashion. Sometimes short, sometimes long. Me, I fought with a gun in the 80s; then, I put my gun down. Now, I have three children - two boys, engineers, a daughter getting and MA in Religious Studies. Boys and girls are good."

Me: "Do you vote?"

Cabbie: "I vote, yes. I vote my mind. I read. Everyday the paper, I know how to read what they say and what do not say and know what is more important."

Me: (re: the sectarian system here) "Does your vote matter?"

Cabbie: (laughing) "Things...no things here will never change. No."

So, it all comes down to the same question: what are we doing, really? Or maybe better: What should we do - as a country, as citizens? What is the vision here? And, even better, how do we make it happen?

Back to Larry King from last night. This time a quote from J Dingell:

KING: Congressman Dingell obviously they've waived the fees. Are you criticizing the other efforts?

REP. JOHN DINGELL (D), MICHIGAN: No. I'm not criticizing any of the other efforts. I want to see this matter resolved, and I want to see the United States begin to provide the leadership that it can provide for peace, to bring the countries of Europe and the world together, to bring the people in the nations in the area together, and let's get started bringing peace to the area and let's stop having this finger pointing where the Israelis say, well, the Hezbollah did this and Hezbollah says, well, the Israelis did this. I happen to think that Hezbollah started it, and I think it's shameful. But I think Israel's overreacted. But I don't think those are the points that we ought to address. What we have to address now is how do we ease the suffering of those people?

(end excerpt).

Two readers from Spain took the time to post comments on rwf. I thank them both. RWF - to me - is not about personal attacks or any sort of tit for tatting - and so, I've made it a rule to never respond directly to one persons remarks. Doing so just isn't what this blog is about in content or spirit. However one of our posts from Spain brings up an idea - a critism, I think, of the United States that I hear a lot...this will be touchy, but I'd like to talk about the ideas presented in this post from FC. FC, please don't take this as a personal attack, but you sum up nicely the general sentiment that I'm witnessing felt towards the United States...and, too, its people. All it's people. Let's try and talk about this:

"My name is Francisco Castro, from Spain. Try to think in this situation you are living. Israel, supported by your goverment, is killing inoccents. And you say still America is the land of freedom. Your goverment needs to learn more about diplomacy and less about business."

(here are a few links that will help you to learn a bit more about what Francisco is talking about:

Arms Sales Stats
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arms_trade#Top_Arms_Exporters

And, although the influence of USAid is under debate (as are the forces influencing USAid disbursement), this is a good place to start reading: http://www.globalissues.org/TradeRelated/Debt/USAid.asp

Some counter info, though, F - just an FYI: Israel using US arms illegally:
http://www.asiantribune.com/index.php?q=node/1130 )

But it's true, although the US does provide funding for a number of regions (including aid to Palestine for social programs), Israeli funding is certainly the dark horse in the room.

So, I'll just close this with two points because the blog is getting too long.

1) I think that you're right. You're right re: 'we' need to learn more about foreign policy if you are referring strictly to the Bush Administration (although, given Bush's track record with the businesses he's headed, I don't think he took much away from the Harvard MBA.

That's not news. In fact, it's pretty basic common sense. In a war where all sides are losers, Bush has actually picked a side. In spite of the fact that everyone the world over has asked "the international community" and specifically the USofA to broker a peace settlement, let the dust clear and sort this thing out...Bush, oh Bush...

This is not only stupid as far as settling the conflict is concerned (can you imagine a marriage counselor telling one side of the couple that it's all their fault???), it is incredibly dangerous. We - the military powerhouse of the world - are now on a side where endless fighting and sudden, uncontrollable escalation is the norm?

So this idea that America has some serious reconsidering to do when it comes to foreign policy is concerned (in this and other ways/regions) is, to me, well substantiated down through history. But since we're talking now: YES, where is the best version of American when we so need it? Where is my country? When will we redefine the idea of strength to include the ideas of patience and humility?

A country that uses it's strength to step forward first to listen and learn, to mediate and negotiate not simply a temporary cease fire or peace but that commits itself to helping design a plan that brings prosperity, removing us all from the idea of war by two degrees.

Bush will make the argument that there are dangerous people in the world, that we need to hunt them down where they sleep. This is the overarching 'strategy' behind the "this or against" us war on terror, I think. This is also crap - in the end, we always aim to talk it out. Always. We did it in Korea, Vietnam and now the Iraqi gov't has offered talks to the insurgency there. We do it because talking actually works.

But the hunt may be all that Bush knows? Although this strategy might be able to contain rogue states (actually, not even: Iraq, anyone?), the recent surge in non-state actors cannot be dealt with by this administration that only knows black and white and shock and awe.

There is a better, more intelligent third way here. I have a lot of friends that advocate for the revolution. Watching people's lives fall apart in front me makes me think of a conversation I had with a female student from Iran last month. "We don't want a revolution," she said "we did that, and look where it got us. It was bloody and now we have this."

What we need is a Renaissance.

So, 2) back to FCs ideas: I hear your frustrations, F. The only issue I take with your comment would be that it's hypocritical in my estimation. So, again, yes to you and to so many folks who have pinned me - an "American" - as part of the problem I humbly admit, yes, our government needs to practice a higher level of diplomacy for the benefit of all who would work with us.

But the follow up response after the agreement and the recognition of the anger that my country's government incites would be that there are still a great many Americans trying so hard to change things. 49%, I think. And we need your help. Good diplomacy, as you know, comes as the result of a couple of things, among those a) knowing who you are talking to/doing your research and b) being able to be the bigger person so as to build a trusting rapport.

Today, F, you slotted me (or, if you meant "you" to mean all Americans, then all Americans) with the extremist, ailing portion of my country without bothering to ask me who I was and why I was here in the MidEast in the first place. You assume I've/we've given no thought to and assume no responsibility for the atrocities committed by the US government and I think you are making the claim that I (and "Americans") seem to brazonly enjoy "freedom" while putting others in veritable shackles through a variety of means.

You're half right, maybe, about "we" - but as you encourage us to look, listen and learn so would I encourage the firey foreigners among the readers of this blog. There are good people in America - find us, work with us.

My grandmother taught me one key lesson before I headed off to run political campaigns, labor union campaigns and now to learn more about what will have to be done diplomatically abroad in the coming decades. Regardless of the institution, office, organization, corporation, group, church, etc - regardless of what the institution claims to stand for, what the banner reads or the wording of the mission statement - there are good people in this world and there are bad people. No matter where you are, you'll find both - sometimes, by fate or circumstance, going through the same motions. Sometimes, until push comes to shove, it's terribly hard to tell them apart. And this must be the case for outsiders looking in on 'Americans'.

It's true, my current government has "mismanagement", poorly considered ideals and utter lack of productive, insightful long term planning written all over it. It's true that my country and its residents may appear at times the picture of total ignorance. Nonetheless, that Renaissance I'm talking about? It is happening. And I and so many of my country look forward to inheriting the responsibility for this monster, taming it and finaly employing policy based on intelligent, humanistic ideas. We work and suffer through having to sit next to the old guard in a taxi while we quietly plan to - in the near future - work alongside our fellow global citizens and employ the prosperity of our powerful country to the benefit of all. Everyone.

As is the case with Bush, the time for name-calling and quick black and white judgements is over. Learn from our mistakes, please, and instead please help us by offering profound constructive and comprehensive advice. I, for one, will take it. Humbly.

In other, better news:

If indeed I'm on a sea cruise tomorrow, I wanted to do three things: first, announce that this will be the end of readingwhilefalling for a while; second, to thank you for reading; and third, to leave by saying that even should I take my 'proper' role on a boat full of Americans, I'll be staying in region for a while, still committed to sorting "this all" out. It'll continue to be the focus of my life, I'm sure.

When I was trying to figure out what I was going to call this blog, I tried to conjure up some image of "the middle east". Having just spent a month talking to a wide variety of representatives from the region, I was struck by how the ongoing conflict with Israel so utterly dominated the region's focus. How quick sides were to simply attack, how the uncompromising vision that either side had for the region overshadowed the price paid for the conflicts in blood and overshadowed any foreign idea of peace. It was an image of a man, engrossed in a book held close to his face not noticing he was falling and about to crack into the sidewalk that popped into my head.

It's a different image now. Seeing the glaze over the eyes and seeing the exhaustion in my own face even after only a week of this, it'd be a wonder that anyone involved here would have the capacity to really focus on anything. It's like the machine has just started up again.

I've got to get back to Talal's and see what I can do for him before I go.